


The Collision Of Past And Present

by Lifeshandful



Series: Seal Team Collection [9]
Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Gen, Hurt, Memories, Past, collision, present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26517448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lifeshandful/pseuds/Lifeshandful
Summary: Little did they know that their pleasant afternoon was about to be turned upside down as the past collided with the present...
Series: Seal Team Collection [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668844
Comments: 12
Kudos: 60





	The Collision Of Past And Present

**_ The Collision Of Past And Present _ **

An afternoon spent at the bar drinking beer as the sun shone down on them was a rarity for Bravo but here they were sitting at a bar in the outdoor area in the middle of Summer in Mexico enjoying the relaxing atmosphere as they leisurely sipped from their beers and chatted idly. Little did they know that their pleasant afternoon was about to be turned upside down as the past collided with the present.

Jason laughed loudly as the waitress that Sonny had been using all of his Texan charm to flirt with ignored him as she moved past all of them with a bowl of water before she sat it down next to Cerb who was lying stretched out in the middle of the enclosed outdoor area enjoying a nap in the sun not to far away from them. “The water is bottled. Do you want another round?” She asked once she had made her way back to the table and picked up the empty bottles that had been collected on the edge of the table.

Ray pulled out a handful of notes and handed them over to the waitress. “Yes, thank you.” None of them were drunk or even close to being over the limit as they were all drinking low percentage alcohol. With a nod after taking the offered cash, the waitress left.

“I would think that is what we would call a strike out there Sonny boy.” Jason smirked as he tipped his almost empty bottle towards Sonny as it was always enjoyable watching Sonny flirt when he was getting nowhere.

Sonny shook his head as he pulled his eyes away from the door that the waitress had disappeared through. “Haven’t struck out yet boss.” The smirk told them all that he was enjoying the chase even though he knew it could go no further.

“Just remember Sonny, flirting with a stripper as you wave cash at them is a whole different ball game brother.” Trent chuckled finishing off his own drink, non-alcohol beer, and putting his bottle down on the table top.

Sonny pretended to look offended for a few seconds before it morphed into a smirk as he tipped the brim of his cap towards Trent. “Nothing wrong with a bit of glitter or jiggle for that matter brother.”

Clay snorted and burst into laughter at Sonny’s comment because only Sonny could say it with a straight face as Jason and Ray both shook their heads in unison, and Brock smiled while Trent rolled his eyes with certain fondness. “Only you Sonny.”

“What? I ain’t gonna discriminate against those hard working ladies.” Sonny waved his hand in front of him.

“Seriously, do you have any decorum?” Brock asked fondly before he looked over at Cerb seeing that his pup was content snoozing in the sun.

“Deco-what?” Sonny asked puzzled before he moved past it. “Now, now don’t be judgy there Brock. Just cause you don’t like strippers, doesn’t mean I can’t.” Brock held his hands up in surrender as no one would win an argument against Sonny about strippers especially with his love of them. “Seriously Brock, when was the last time you went to a strip club?” Sonny was intrigued now, his curiosity peaked, even though he knew his quietest brother was not fond of them at all.

Brock regretted joining the conversation as he knew Sonny would not leave it alone now that he had turned the conversation on him. “When was the last time I dragged your drunken ass out of one?” That would have been the last time that Brock had stepped inside of a strip club because he was never one to enjoy them or visit them.

“Alright, settle down boys.” Ray insisted seeing as the waitress stepped outside with their round of drinks balanced on a large tray and made her way over to them. “Thank you.” He said as the drinks were handed out around the table just before she took her leave.

Trent knew that Ray had stopped an argument from starting before it could even really begin and he was grateful for that as there was no way that any of them wanted the afternoon to be ruined. “How are Naima and the kids Ray?” Families were always a safe topic, well almost always a safe topic, Trent revised his own thinking although he knew better than to say it out loud.

Ray smiled broadly before he picked up his beer and took a mouthful from the bottle before he sat the bottle back down on the table in front of him and swallowed his mouthful, smiling once more. “They are great brother. Jameelah is being super helpful while RJ is asking a whole lot of questions according to Naima.” Ray had spoken to Naima and the kids only hours before. “They were going to be spending the day at Naima’s parents, having lunch and whatnot.”

“Bet you are glad to be missing out on that brother, lunch with the in-laws.” Jason knew Ray was not fond of his in-laws but then again he had to admit that he was never fond of Alana’s parents just as they were not fond of him, although both men would never admit it to their wives ever.

“You have got me there brother.” Ray admitted with ease knowing he and Jason used to complain to each other about their in-laws back when Alana was still alive. “You’d think after all this time that they would not hate me as much.”

“Brock? Brock Reynolds?!” The sound of Brock’s name being called had everyone turning towards the source of the voice. Brock’s smile faded as he swallowed thickly and wished that the ground would open up and swallow him as he took a long drag of beer from his fresh bottle before he put the bottle back down. “Wow, I haven’t seen you in years.” The slap to Brock’s shoulder made him tense even more than he already had.

Brock steeled himself as he turned around. “Parker, it’s been a while.” Brock spoke through gritted teeth hoping that Parker would get the hint and leave but from what he could recall he was never good at taking hints. Parker was from Brock’s hometown, they went to high school together, and it was a part of the life Brock had left a long time ago. He could smell the stench of alcohol coming off of him in waves, and if he could have moved away than he would have.

“It has man, it has.” Parker slurred slapping Brock’s shoulder hard causing him to tense again. “Did you ever get remarried after Holly?”

Brock paled significantly at the mention of her name as his brothers spit out their mouthfuls of beer or choked on them as their eyes landed on him. Cerb whined and nudged at Brock’s hand before he growled at the man who had upset him. Brock was grateful that Cerb’s growl had Parker retracting his hand and stepping away from him.

“Brock’s never been married, think you must have the facts mixed up there.” Trent could not believe this guy but then he looked at Brock who had become paler than he had ever seen him. “Brock?” They were missing something.

Brock felt as his breath hitched and before he even realised what he was doing he had pushed himself out of the chair and was moving away from all of them as Cerb kept pace at his side.

“Huh?” Parker stood dumbfounded and if it was not for Jason’s quick action of reaching out and grabbing the back of Sonny’s shirt he was sure that Parker would have been pinned up against one of the columns.

There was a flurry of activity as the remaining members of Bravo pushed their chairs out, grabbed their belongings and hurried off in the direction that Brock had gone but not before Sonny told Parker to stay the hell away from all of them in the most threatening manner he could without violence.

“Trent?!” Jason called as they got out of the bar as they scanned the street.

“I had no idea Jase.” Trent answered immediately feeling a little bit frantic as he scanned the street looking for Brock and Cerb but it was as though they had disappeared. “Actually I have no idea what the hell just happened.” The concern did not need to be stated as they had all seen how he had paled significantly.

“We can figure it out once we find him.” Clay was being the voice of reason although he had to admit he was as bewildered as the rest of them at the turn of events. What he did know was that they needed to find Brock and as soon as they could.

“Clay’s right. Trent with me and Ray, Sonny stay with Clay; he can’t have got far. Call when you find him.” Jason ordered before they separated with the two groups each going their separate ways as Clay and Sonny went left while Trent, Jason and Ray went right.

**_The Collision Of Past And Present_ **

Brock found an alley to duck into as he stumbled along with his chest heaving and his heart hammering against his ribs. He tripped over something on the ground landing hard on his knees but he paid no attention as he shuffled back until he was up against the graffiti covered brick wall. Cerb whimpered and whined, and managed to crawl in between Brock’s legs as Brock circled his arms around Cerb trying and failing to get his breathing under control. It had been years since anyone had said her name but it did not mean that he had not thought of her however some things were just to painful to share even with his brothers.

Brock shuddered brutally as memories flooded him, memories that he had suppressed long ago because the pain they caused him was almost too much to bare. It had been years but they still felt as if they were from yesterday.

_Brock smiled as he knelt down next to the bed as the sun had started to shine through the partially closed blinds as he looked at Holly, took in her sun kissed skin and her wispy blonde hair, before he reached out and gently brushed a fallen strand of her hair back behind her ear. “Morning sweetheart.” He leaned forward and kissed her softly once her green eyes looked into his…_

_Brock found himself looking on adoringly as he watched Holly lay on the floor with puppies climbing all over her as her laughter reverberated around the room. There had not been a lot of laughter from her lately especially after they had been given the news but he shook his head to will it away as he pushed himself off of the doorframe and joined her down on the floor…_

Brock willed the memories away as he let go of Cerb and ran his hands over his face wiping away the tears that were threatening to fall as he inhaled then exhaled deeply. Down in a dirty alley was not where Brock wanted to be, not where or how he wanted to remember her. He took a few more minutes to calm himself down but it was not working that well as he was still shaking before he pushed himself up off of the ground although he stayed leant up against the wall deciding that he needed to get back to base.

**_The Collision Of Past And Present_ **

Jason, Ray, Trent, Clay and Sonny reconvened after almost thirty minutes of searching but they had not found Brock which was worrying them all. “What do you want to do Jase?” Ray asked seeing that Sonny was on his phone texting but he paid no attention to that as he looked at Jason on what to do next.

Jason was divided, he knew they had to get back to base but he was concerned that they had been unable to find Brock as he was sure that he could not have gotten far in the condition that he found himself in. They never left a man behind, they had never before and they were not going to start now. “We’ve swept the entire block, and haven’t found him, either we spread out and check again or we widen the area.”

The worry was palpable between the five men and Sonny’s phone ringing did nothing to ease the tension until he began smiling. “Brock’s on base. Lisa found Cerb, said she is still looking for him.” It was at least a thirty minute drive back to base.

Trent cursed wondering why they had not thought of contacting Lisa sooner but he was thankful that Sonny had gotten her to check although he wished she had found Brock and not just Cerb but he also knew that Cerb would stick close to Brock.

“Let’s go. Tell Lisa to stay close to him.” Jason clapped Sonny on the back as they began a hurried walk back to where the van that they had requisitioned was parked.

**_The Collision Of Past And Present_ **

Lisa walked into the team’s room after a text from Sonny had her confused as he asked her to look for Brock but as far as she was aware Brock should have been with them. She found Cerb sitting at the closed bathroom door that was to the side with his nose pressed against the door as he whimpered and whined incessantly. “Hi bubba, what’s going on?” She knelt down beside him as she could hear the shower running as she gave Cerb a pat.

Lisa pulled her phone out of her pocket feeling as it had vibrated to see that Sonny had replied telling her to stay close and she sent a quick text back telling him that Brock was in the shower but she would wait with Cerb. She stuffed her phone back into her pocket before she looked at Cerb knowing that something was seriously wrong as he continued to paw, whimper and whine at the door but what was more telling was how rigid he was. She hesitated before she stood up and knocked lightly on the door. “Brock.” She called softly hoping that he would tell her he was okay but she got no response which did not surprise her. “Brock, I just need you to let me know you are okay.” No response yet again had Lisa worrying and she wished Sonny had provided her more information on what was going on rather than letting her go in blind.

Another whine and a nudge at her own hand had Lisa looking down to Cerb. “It’s going to be okay boy.” Lisa stepped back until she hit the wall opposite the bathroom door then let herself slide down to the ground to wait it out as she wondered whether Brock would get out of the shower first or if the rest of the guys would be back first. Whatever was going on had Lisa worried and she hoped answers would be forthcoming.

**_The Collision Of Past And Present_ **

Brock sat on the cold tiled floor of the shower as the cold water flowed down over him, the water mixing with his own tears and he knew his face was swollen. He had heard Lisa knock on the door and call out to him but he did not have the energy to respond, not when his mind was pulling every memory that he had buried long ago back to the forefront, not when his heart felt like it was breaking all over again just as it had all those years ago. The collision of his past with his present was shocking and he knew that he could not pretend that it had not happened especially not with the way he had reacted despite how much he wished to keep them separate.

Brock let his head hit the back of the tiled wall with a thud, hard enough to make him wince, before he raised his hand up and wiped away the water although it was a pointless action as water continuously dripped from his drenched curls that were sticking to his forehead. He had no idea how to tell his brothers that what they had learned was true and that he had kept it hidden from them but he knew he had to find a way to explain however the more he tried to figure it out the less it made sense. He let his eyelids close once more…

_“Brock!” The panicked shout had him sprinting from the kitchen to the bathroom where Holly was as that was where he had left her while he had gone to get her a glass of water so she could take her medication. He had not even realised that he had dropped the glass sending it crashing to the floor and sending the shattering glass in every direction as he slid to a stop in the bathroom. “Okay, it’s okay, sweetheart.” Brock knelt down on the tiled floor in front of her as he grabbed a handful of tissues and very gently held them to her heavily bleeding nose ignoring the way she was covered in blood for the moment._

A burst of icy cold water startled Brock from his memory and he scrambled to turn the water off.

**_The Collision Of Past And Present_ **

Lisa looked up as Jason held his hand out to her to help her up off of the ground as they had arrived back. She slipped her hand into his letting him pull her up off the ground before she pinned him with a look. “What’s going on Jason?” She made sure to keep her voice soft as she looked past him to see the guys all anxiously congregated only a few feet away.

Jason looked at the closed bathroom door before he glanced down at Cerb who had not moved before he looked back at Lisa. “We aren’t really sure. Come on.” He turned around and placed his hand on her back before he gave her a soft nudge to get her moving.

Lisa frowned at Jason’s answer as she moved at his insistence away from the bathroom door. “What do you mean you aren’t sure?” She asked sharply once she was congregated with the rest of the guys. One look at them told her that whatever had happened was serious as they all looked worried. “What happened? From the beginning.”

The glances exchanged were not doing anything to ease her worry instead they were only serving to increase it. “We were at the bar enjoying a few drinks Lisa.” Ray began but he was not sure how to explain what happened next. Lisa blinked before she waved her hand in front of her implying that she knew that part and to get on with telling her what happened.

“Someone from Brock’s past showed up and he paled, went tense and became rigid.” Trent was concerned medically about Brock but also wondered what the truth was as he had never heard Brock mention any woman by the name of Holly or anything about being married.

Lisa looked around the men knowing she still did not have all of the facts that they had. “Guys…” The exasperation was clear in her voice.

“The guy asked whether Brock had ever remarried after Holly, Lis, and then Brock was out of his seat and gone.” Clay finally filled in the final detail of what they knew and watched as Lisa had the same reaction that they had, shock.

“Sorry?” Lisa was sure she had misheard what Clay had said, and wanted to clarify what she had heard him say.

“Exactly, we don’t have any more information and we certainly don’t have any answers.” Ray confirmed without repeating Clay’s answer.

Lisa turned to Jason who was looking back towards the bathroom as she knew just as he did that there was nothing in Brock’s file that stated he had ever been married. “And he has never said anything about this Holly woman or being married?” Lisa knew that Brock did not always say a lot but it seemed unbelievable that nothing had ever been mentioned. There were several shakes and low murmured ‘no’s’ from the men. “Okay.” There was not a lot that could be said as they certainly had questions but it was obvious that until Brock was ready to answer any of them then they would have to wait.

“Nothing about this is okay.” Trent huffed as he shared a look with Jason before he looked towards the closed bathroom door that Cerb was still pawing out in between whimpers and whines.

“No, it’s not.” Jason responded immediately wanting to push for answers but knowing he could not because if it were true then it was obviously something that Brock had not wanted to share or felt unable to share with them, and that thought only led to more questions, ones that he was not sure he wanted to entertain.

**_The Collision Of Past And Present_ **

The click of the door opening reverberated through the silent room before Cerb let out a soft bark as he nudged Brock’s legs as he appeared out of the bathroom. Brock knelt down and kissed Cerb between the eyes before he ran his fingers over the silkiness of his ears knowing that Cerb was upset because of his reaction. Brock blew out a shaky breath before he pushed himself up onto his feet as he still did not feel prepared to face his family and explain the secret he had kept from them the entire time he had known them but he knew they were back and waiting for him.

Brock walked slowly, the distance far to short, before he stopped seeing that everyone with the exception of Blackburn and Mandy were sitting around in the lounge area of their quarters trying and failing to look anything but anxious. “Hey.” Brock’s voice was hoarse and he cringed at the sound of it as he forced himself to make his way over.

Lisa smiled softly as she looked at Brock taking notice of how pale and shaky he was, and the red rimmed and swollen eyes but what struck her most was the sadness that she could see in his eyes.

Trent looked up and was immediately worried that Brock was about to collapse considering how shaky he looked on his feet. “Sit down before you fall down Brock.” It was an order rather than a suggestion.

Clay moved over and sat up on the arm of the armchair that Lisa was sitting in so that Brock could have the armchair he was sitting in. He draped his arm over Lisa’s shoulders as he watched Brock lower himself stiffly into the armchair before he leaned forward and bowed his head as he fidgeted with his fingers once Cerb was settled at his feet.

Brock was grateful for the silence but he hated it at the same time as he felt like he was being waited out. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times as every time he tried to talk it felt like the words got stuck in his throat.

“Brock…” Lisa could not take the silence any longer as she could see how much he was struggling, and she was not sure how much longer the guys would remain silent as they all seemed to be bursting and fidgety. “Whatever it is, we are here.” She felt the need to reassure him even though she had no idea what he was going to tell them.

Brock’s chest heaved with a silent sob before he shook his head and lifted his head to look around at them. “It’s true, I was married.” It should not have been as hard as it was to say but it had remained a secret for so long that it was hard to say out loud.

Trent leaned forward hating how distraught Brock was and suddenly he found himself wishing that Brock had been able to share it when he was ready not because his secret was outed despite how curious he was about it all.

Sonny shifted in his seat as he looked at Brock intensely as his words hung heavily in the air around them. “How long ago?” The question slipped from his lips and he chose to ignore the glares that were sent his way. Apparently he had missed the memo that they were not going to ask questions or prod Brock to explain further.

Brock exhaled heavily before he leaned back once again dipping his head as he continued to wring his hands together. “We were seventeen when we got married because… because she was… she was sick… she was dying. Holly was sick and dying, and she deserved to know how loved she was.” He paused hating that it still was as hard to say as it was back then. He swiped his hand over his face again before he dropped it back down into his lap. “It was cancer, she had been fighting it her whole life. I know she was sick from the moment I first met her but everything changed when the doctor’s refused to give her any more treatment. They gave up and so did she.”

“How old were you when she passed away?” Trent asked as he did the maths in his head still not understanding why Brock had never said anything and despite how much he wanted to ask he refrained from doing so.

“Eighteen, we were married for five months before I became a widow.” It was a startling fact that affected all of them as the pain was clear to all of them; it was a pain that Brock had harboured for a long time, and suffered in silence with it. “I enlisted a few weeks after her death like we had planned.” Holly had known that she was dying, that her time left was short, and she had made him promise to follow his dreams to enlist with the Navy and continue his work with dogs. They had made plans, a lot of plans during one of the last times she was in remission.

Clay could see the struggle that Brock was having but what was obvious was that Brock had loved and adored his wife with every fibre of his being. “What was she like?” She had to be pretty special, and Clay hoped that his question would not cause Brock more pain but instead he hoped that it would help to talk about her, free his brother from some of the pain.

Brock smiled softly even as his bottom lip trembled minutely at Clay’s question because it was something that he would ask as Lisa leaned forward and pushed a fresh bottle of water into his hand which he took gratefully. There were so many things he could say about Holly but he did not know where to begin. “She was amazing, so brave and she could be fiery as hell. Kept me on my toes constantly.” He smiled as he had to admit that it felt good to talk about her despite how hard it was. “She just loved life despite how it treated her.” There was an air of melancholy that settled around him with that statement.

Brock looked at Trent and could see he was wondering why he had never mentioned anything before about Holly or his life before he had joined the Navy. “I know I should have told you all that I was married but I just… it’s not something I talk about ever. No one talks about her, or us.”

“It’s okay Brock, we might not understand it but we can accept it.” Ray was quick to assure Brock that it was okay as the last thing he wanted was for Brock to feel guilty for keeping a part of his past from them.

“But you know you can talk to us about anything Brock. It doesn’t matter what, we will listen anytime.” Jason assured him still shocked by what they had learned.

Brock let his eyelids close briefly before he forced them back up. “I know, I do.” He did know, and he appreciated that his brothers would listen if he wanted to talk.

Lisa hesitated but she felt like everyone had been so hungry for information about this hidden part of Brock’s life that they had forgotten to ask one question that should have been a priority. “Brock, how are you feeling though?” The men surrounding her were not good with their feelings but she had to ask, had to create the opening for him, as from where she was sitting he looked exhausted and emotionally wrung out.

Brock shifted his eyes to Lisa and her question, and he could see the out she was giving him which he wanted to take but he also felt like he owed them the answers to any questions that they had. The problem was there was no easy way to answer Lisa’s question because there were several answers. He could tell them that he was tired. He could tell them that it still hurt whenever her name was mentioned and he was forced to remember her. He could tell them a whole multitude of different things about how he was feeling but sometimes it was easier to keep things inside. “I’m okay. It’s still just a lot sometimes.” It was a placation but it was all he had for the moment.

Clay leaned closer to Lisa as she rested against him and he could feel the concern that was radiating off of her although he decided not to mention it for the moment as he made a mental note to check in with her later. “Thank you for telling us Brock, I, we know it can’t have been or be easy but it is appreciated.” Clay kept his voice soft as he thanked Brock as it was clear to see the emotions that were still rolling around tumultuously inside of him despite the brave face he was putting on.

Brock looked at Clay and nodded softly as he relaxed further back into the cushion of the armchair as Cerb took the opportunity to jump up and curl up into his lap sensing he needed comfort which he would openly accept from him. Brock automatically began stroking Cerb as he nuzzled his nose against his chest as he ignored his brothers and Lisa watching him.

**_The Collision Of Past And Present_ **

Lisa looked around the men noticing that Brock was not with them as they had found their way over to the fire pit during the time since she had left them. She stopped behind Clay and placed her hand down on his shoulder and smiled as he reached up and clasped her hand in his. It was awfully quiet with only the sound of the fire crackling as the men were not talking or laughing and joking instead they were sitting with bottles of beer and water largely untouched in their hands, all seemingly lost in thought.

Trent looked up at Lisa and could see that she was looking around for Brock. “Brock went to bed Davis.” He informed her with ease breaking the silence and answering her unasked question.

“How are you all doing?” Lisa asked as she stayed where she was feeling as Clay’s hand tightened around hers just a little as she asked her question. It was a loaded question, she knew that, but she had to ask. “After all, it was quite a revelation that you all learned.” There was not a lot said but somehow the silence was all the answer that Lisa needed as it told her that they were all struggling with what they had learned. Bravo was struggling.

Lisa let out a steady breath before she took the empty seat once she had untangled her hand from Clay’s. “You know we all have things that we don’t talk about, things that we keep to ourselves, and this is one of Brock’s things.” She hoped to get through to them by relating it back to them. “And as much as we all have questions and queries that we would like the answers too, it is going to be one more of those things that we don’t talk about unless Brock wants to talk about it. We all saw and felt how hard it was for him to talk about her, and for him it probably will never get easier but it has to be his choice.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Trent snapped, his tone far harsher than he meant it to be, making Lisa lean back in the chair while the rest of the guys snapped their heads up to look at him.

Lisa was not used to seeing pure rage from Trent but she suspected it was more because of the friendship that he had with Brock rather than being mad about how it came to light. “Does it bother me that Brock chose to keep the fact that he was married and widowed at a young age a secret? No, it doesn’t Trent, but I do understand that it would have been nice to know for his sake.” It was the most honest answer she could have given.

Trent shook his head hating everything about the whole situation, hated that Brock had not been the one to tell him or them, hated that he had the choice of doing so taken away from him, hated that he had not told them and didn’t that just lead to a whole lot of questions, and most of all he hated that it had left Brock distraught despite how much he pretended he was not. And right now he kind of hated this rational side of Lisa.

“You have a right to be hurt Trent but you don’t have a right to be angry with him. Not about this, not when it is something that is still so painful to him.” Lisa did not want Brock to worry about his brother’s reactions although she was smart enough to know that he would because that was the man that he was. “The only thing that you all have to do is continue to treat him just as you would have before you learned this information. He’s still the same man that you all call your brother, he’s still our Brock.” Lisa knew there was nothing more that she could say and she let her words hang in the air as she stood up and walked away leaving the men to wile the rest of the night away until they made it back to their beds.

**_The Collision Of Past And Present_ **

The silence that Brock found himself enveloped in was anything but comforting. Usually he enjoyed the silence, was able to take comfort in it, when he was not on a mission because only then it meant something else entirely. Brock rolled over on the single bed that felt far to small tonight feeling as Cerb inched his way up the bed until he pushed his head beneath his hand as Brock fixed his eyes on the ceiling above him. Every time he tried to close his eyes he could see his wife, Holly, and it wasn’t that he did not want to see her it just felt a little bit more raw than it usually did.

Brock heard Cerb whine and felt as he licked his hand as he pushed himself upright before he ran his hand through his curls deciding to give up on trying to sleep as there were far to many memories that had shaken loose going around in his brain. “You want to go for a walk?” Brock shook his head having no idea why he asked because Cerb was not going to let him out of his sight, and as if Cerb could read his mind he tilted his head to the side that told Brock he was an idiot for even asking. “Alright, come on then.” Brock shoved his feet into his boots then grabbed his sweatshirt as the night air had a slight chill to it and pulled it on before he left the crushing silence of the room.

Brock was not paying attention to where he was heading as he made his way through the dimly lit corridors of the building that was temporarily housing them while they spent time in Mexico.

“Brock.” Lisa barely managed to catch herself as she bumped into him as she rounded the corner of the corridor as his hands reached out and steadied her.

“Shoot, sorry Lisa.” Brock quickly apologised as he had not been paying attention and nearly bowled her over onto the unforgiving concrete; he let his hands slip from her once he was sure she was steady on her feet before he took a step back.

Lisa regarded Brock lightly trying to figure out what the best way to approach him was. “I was just coming to see you, wanted to check on how you were doing.” She kept her voice soft not wanting him to shut down or feel that he had to talk especially if he did not want too.

Brock barely managed to withhold the sigh that threated to leave his lips. “Just taking Cerb for a walk.” He kept his answer short as he loosely pointed his finger behind Lisa as it had been the direction he had been heading.

Lisa could sense that Brock did not want to talk and she could not very push the thing that she had advised the guys not to do either. “Alright, just make sure you get some sleep tonight Brock, or some rest at least.” She smiled softly before she stepped aside to let him and Cerb past.

Brock gave Lisa a single solitary nod before he moved forward past Lisa with Cerb firmly stuck to his side. He barely made it ten steps before he stopped and turned around seeing that Lisa had not moved but was watching him. “You want to join me? I might not be the best company but the silence is kind of driving me crazy right now.” He ran his hands through his curls nervously hating his own admission.

Lisa smiled reassuringly. “Sure.” She shrugged before she moved to catch up with him, letting herself fall into step with Brock and Cerb as they moved through the corridors unhurriedly.

Brock was kind of grateful that Lisa had taken him up on his offer, and he was even more grateful that she was not pressing and pushing him for answers. But he also did not like the silence lingering between them as silence was not what he wanted right now. He turned and began to ascend the metal stairs that looked as though they were more hazardous than the city itself wanting a bit of fresh air. “Hope you don’t mind being up on the roof.” He offered as they reached the next flight of stairs quickly, ascending them just the same as the first.

“It’s a good night to look at the stars.” Lisa offered softly sensing that Brock’s sudden need to be on the roof was more about the noises of the city that could be heard then the actual escapism of it although she was sure that held an appeal still. And to be frank, she was just glad that he was allowing her to be in his company.

Brock smiled as it was not something he would ever have thought he would have heard Lisa say but then again not a lot about this trip had been expected. They reached the exit door to the roof pretty quickly and Brock held the door open for Lisa to step out first before he made sure to prop the door open so that they did not get stuck out there before he stepped out with Cerb. The noises of the city could be heard clearly despite the time of night, and it was calming.

Lisa watched as Brock stopped about half way between the door and the edge of the roof, tipped his head back slightly and inhaled and exhaled deeply. She moved across to the couch that had been bought up at some stage long before they had arrived as the leather was old and weathered but it was still comfortable as she curled herself up on one end of it tucking her feet beneath her. She had to admit that the nip in the night air was refreshing to feel.

Brock moved over and joined Lisa on the couch unsurprised when Cerb jumped up and managed to spread himself out between the two of them. “Thank you.” Brock spoke after a few minutes of just focusing on the sounds of the city.

Lisa raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have anything to thank me for Brock.” She did not want thanks because him being alright would be sufficient.

Brock shook his head as he sunk back into the overstuffed but surprisingly soft cushions of the couch and let his fingertips run through Cerb’s fur repeatedly. “You’re here, not pushing for an explanation like I know that the guys, Trent, still want.” He paused for a few seconds. “You are just being you.”

Lisa wasn’t sure what to make of Brock’s last sentence but she figured it was a good thing so she did not focus on that part of what he had said. She knew how perceptive Brock was, knew he could read people like no one else on the team, and she knew he would be aware of all of the lingering questions and the emotional mess that the men had been left with by the bombshell that they had learned earlier in the day. She considered her words carefully as the last thing she wanted to do was for her words to put undue pressure on the man beside her. “It doesn’t matter what any of them think or feel Brock, what matters is you.” She held up her hand as she saw him about to object. “I mean it Brock. Almost nothing that happened to you today was your choice, and the decisions that you did make were because your hand was forced once again by a choice that was not yours.” It felt important to emphasise the point that it had not been his choice to share that he had been married and although he had chosen to explain to them, it was still a choice he had made as a result of his secret being shared by someone who had no right too.

“I couldn’t just stay silent, couldn’t pretend that it was a lie. I couldn’t do that to Holly or myself, I could never pretend that she didn’t exist or that we weren’t married, or brush it off as a drunken remark by an idiot.” Brock shook his head. “And I couldn’t have my brothers looking at me scrutinising me the way they would if I did remain silent but they still are anyway.” It stung more than he wanted to admit as he could see the various emotions directed at him in their eyes – the pity, the sadness, the betrayal, the question ‘do you trust me and us’, and the anger.

“No, you wouldn’t have because that is not who you are Brock.” Lisa agreed readily that he would not have lied that it was not real. “We all have things we don’t talk about Brock, it makes us human, and its okay. It took me a long time to learn that it was okay but it is.” She let her eyes glance up at the night sky seeing a few stars twinkling in the sky before she looked back at him. “As for the guys, they are worried but it is only because they care. They love you Brock.”

Brock nodded slowly as he let Lisa’s words sink in before he looked over at Lisa.

Lisa smiled as Brock chuckled softly catching sight of the large block of chocolate she had removed from her pocket followed by a smaller bag of kibble. “Figured I could persuade you to share some chocolate with me as I had already figured out that you would not be sleeping.” She wiggled the block of chocolate in her hand knowing what a sweet tooth he had. “And I couldn’t leave Cerb-a-licious out.”

It never failed to make Brock smile when Lisa called Cerb ‘Cerb-a-licious’ nor did the way she cared for all of them go ignored. “I’m never going to turn down chocolate, and Cerb is never going to turn down treats.” It felt like something shifted in the air as the heaviness gave way to a light that he had not felt in a long time, maybe in a kind of screwed up way it was the start of his healing, and if eating chocolate with Lisa was a part of it then who was he to argue.


End file.
